


Check

by BlastTheCrap



Category: The X-Files
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-05
Updated: 2018-06-05
Packaged: 2019-05-18 10:26:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 893
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14851022
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlastTheCrap/pseuds/BlastTheCrap
Summary: In chess, the King is most important, but the Queen is most powerful.





	Check

**Author's Note:**

> This is based on that "lonely night you invited Mulder to your bed" as being the same night she told Mulder the pregnancy didn't take.

One lonely night, you invited Mulder to your bed. It's true. In an overwhelming moment of grief and resignation, you slid over the boundary, from white square to black, practically falling over it. While everything else was being taken away, you simply asked him to lessen your pain. It seemed logical then. Almost imperative.

_His hands have been on your body before, but never so softly, moving with curious intensity led by heartache. He understands your brokenness. Maybe that's why he thinks he needs to be careful. But what you really want is something stronger than the agony. Something to override it. You take a fistful of his hair and drag him down. It's so easy to touch him like this. It's so easy in the darkness of your room._

You wonder if you would have done anything differently had you known at the time that you were being watched. Of course you would have. But looking back you're glad they bore witness to their failed attempts at breaking up the partnership. Instead they brought you together.

_You feel like you've been violated so much down there. Tests, experiments, physicals, implantations... But right now his mouth is erasing all evidence. Another fistful of his hair keeps him in place while you recklessly rub against his face. It's too dark to see him, but you clearly hear his familiar voice behind the grunts and groans of physical strain. He's working hard to make you forget, if only for a moment, that you will never have a viable pregnancy. He's working hard because he feels guilty_.

What they did to you, they did to the both of you. Sometimes you think your part in this game was little more than as Pawn to Mulder's King. They saw you as dispensable, a way to corner the prize. A direct route to checkmate. But Mulder didn't like the rules of the game and went ahead barreling across the board with abandonment until all the pieces lay scattered. Including you.

_It strikes at your core first, then spreads like hot butter down your legs and through your chest, down your arms and through your throat in one long cry. And when it's over you release him and watch him crawl slowly up your body, kissing your breasts, your neck, your mouth. His lips are wet and swollen and desperate. Still, there's a hint of hesitation in his touch, like he isn't yet sure what is allowed. So you open your legs wider and wrap them around him, drawing his lower body close. You want to reassure him. "Mulder, it's me," you whisper, and with nothing else to say, you reach down to guide him in._

But you never blamed Mulder for the position you are in. He'd been a pawn since he was twelve-years-old. He seeks the truth not just for himself, but for you, and anyone else who needs that truth. His only blame is not knowing how to back down. And why the hell should he? He deserves some light shining through the darkness. 

_Once inside you he lowers his head to your shoulder and you feel him shake. You know, at this very instant, he's holding back with everything he has. He's afraid. As fearless as he is in his quest for the truth, with you and with his heart he is immobile. Tears sometimes come too readily. Defeat sometimes creeps around his feet. You understand his brokenness, just as well as he does yours. But you cannot let him continue to carry guilt over your loss. He's lessened your pain, exactly like you asked him to do. It's in your hands to do the same for him._

They think they are smarter, more powerful than you. They haven't figured out who they're up against. They can't beat Dana Scully. Not when she has Mulder. And you want to look right into his eyes when the truth hits.

_In his wariness of hurting you more, he's hovered weightlessly over you. With very little encouragement you roll him over until he's on his back with you astride. You can be strong now, because when you look at him, you see seven years of your life staring back, and countless years ahead. You see hope, because he told you there is always hope, and you have always had the strength of his beliefs._

_With that single thought you start to sway. The moon has traveled to where it sits framed in the window, shining light through the darkness. You look right into his eyes, now glassy and overcharged. Then they're closed. You move faster._

_When it hits he comes undone, grappling with the sheets, and your thighs, arching back hard, then forward. You know he's lost control. But you've since captured some. When he's finished he lay in a heap, debauched and more beautiful than imaginable. And you think maybe, in the realm of extreme possibilities...you love him._

So while the truth still eludes you, at least in the details, you hold tight to the one thing you do know for certain. They no longer see you as a Pawn. In the game of chess, the Queen is the most powerful piece on the board. She sits next to the King and protects him. She does whatever she wants to do.

She sometimes even sacrifices herself.


End file.
